Embracing Solitude

Coming to terms with being alone and accepting it for what it is not an easy feat. We all know that we are social beings and are not meant to truly be alone, but sometimes there comes a time in our lives when we have to be ( beyond our choice). There are times we can learn to accept this and try to benefit from it. I think the fear of being alone or the idea of it, is a great cause of anxiety and discomfort for many people. We live in a fast paced, ever changing culture of technology and media that constantly gives us opportunity to seek connection and fill a void, only to discover, as we all know, that we are more emotionally disconnected as a whole society, than ever before. Social media accounts give us the false pretense that we are not alone, seeking another "like" or approval from outside of ourselves. This is a false sense of intimacy we may be seeking. It may give us a sense that we are acknowledged and matter. That feeling is ever so fleeting. Feeling full, whole, complete, and " just enough" is an inside job, that no external person or thing can truly give you.



Being alone at certain moments in our lives, either in or out of our control, can be our greatest teachers. It has been in my moments of great loneliness where I have given myself the space to feel the greatest emotions, and gain the most clarity. Whether it be during my solo travelling, sitting on a train alone, surfing on my board, meditating in my living room, walking the Inca trail, or eating dinner alone in the Canary Islands, I have been challenged to sit with my thoughts and get comfortable with my own discomfort. Those discomforts encompass all of me-my past, my regrets, my shame, disappointments, unrequited love, anxiety, my unworthiness, my worthiness and my joys. It is also during these times of being alone, or feeling lonely, where I have given myself time to rekindle with my inner child, get to that "bucket list", or look outside my window and really see what is before me.

Loneliness and being alone is acceptable at times, as long as the loneliness does not become your enemy, resulting in negative rumination, taking you further away from yourself and the connection you have with the rest of the world. Being alone or feeling lonely, although two different things, do not need to be seen as a curse, a life sentence, or something enduring. Nothing is permanent, and a feeling doesn't have to be either. At moments in our lives, there can be strength in solitude, if you choose to see it that way.


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